We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
