Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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