So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
