that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize