Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
