He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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