This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
