she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
