I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
