the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
high people should be assigned attendants
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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