so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Are my feet made of real feet?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
