that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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