C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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