highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
