awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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