Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
