Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
