Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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