Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We were destined to go to rehab together
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
