foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
