Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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