she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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