I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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