matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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