Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
