Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
