He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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