How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
