..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
