I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
