Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize