I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
