You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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