the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
