he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
