She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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