so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My ass is underappreciated
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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