There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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