You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
