My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize