Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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