East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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