That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im holly from the hills drunk
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize