ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
