Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
