Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize