I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
