Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize