My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
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You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
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We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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