R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
