Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
