he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
