Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
