he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
