pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
