My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize