Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
