Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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