I bet he comes in French.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
How does one acquire holy water?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
